LordXavierBritish's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[Animated short "Hole"]

Memph.

I'm torn.

Part of me really liked the penciled backgrounds being incorporated into a flash movie, not that it's anything new, but part of me hates the fact that a lot of concessions were made in terms of animation.

In actuality it seemed more like a sideshow with some minor animation, but the serene atmosphere made up for some of the more noticeable short comings.

Overall though, the vibe this animation was giving off definetly stood at the forefront and because of that it makes it very easy to ignore what could have been a very amateur looking movie.

It's kinda nice.

[Heroes of the Cold War]

Huhm, Yes.

Critiquing a trailer is somewhat low, even by my standards, but fuck the atmosphere this thing is spewing out from every artistic orifice imaginable.

Perhaps that was a bit graphic, perhaps a more direct approach.

It was pretty fucking good, I very much enjoyed it.

[Mad Mad Mario]

Sheesheeshee.

I could go into how generic this is.

How played out the entire concept is.

Or even how it's basically THE stereotypical Newgrounds flash.

I could even talk about how it's shit like this that keeps Newgrounds from becoming more than what it currently is and has been for a few years now.

But I'm not going to.

Instead I'm going to ask, why the fuck is there a writer signed on to this?

Was that writing? Is this a story? Was that dialogue?

Hur, now that's not even funny.

Writing is a fucking art form, it's not just some tool for other mediums to abuse.

I don't care if you want to keep making flashes like this, go the fuck ahead. Have fun being mediocre and chained down by someone else's ideals of entertainment and quality.

But don't degrade a respectable craft by calling this "Writing."

R.

Jonnyethco responds:

Well why don't you submit something to Newgrounds since you know so damn much.

Written by Jon Etheridge. :)

[At Heaven's Gates]

Hurhurhur.

I fucking love your style, it's a god damn shame you don't have more movie like this.

This is a perfect example of a good chuckle worthy animation. It's quick, to the point, and most importantly aware of the subject matter.

I really have little to criticize, a first.

I do want to point out the music though, because it was fucking spot on. Never have I laughed at a flash's credits until now. The timing on it was just great.

Also, more flashes need fictional actors.

AlmightyHans responds:

I'm glad you liked it so much. seriously. You'll see what i have in mind for these actors...

[Madness Aggregation]

Ahem...

Every thousand years or so, a flash movie comes around that garners so much attention that it can be registered under the title of "phenomenon."

This definition however is a double-edged sword.

Because in all honesty, there really is nothing left to define Madness.

This series has gotten to the point where the imitators are actually making better work, and that in of it self is bad.

Perhaps the saddest thing is however that what could be a wonderful talent is being wasted mining away at this lifeless corpse of a an animated series.

The fighting and slow paced and bland, the character design is sub-par compared even to previous Madness Combats, and the story feels like it was pulled out of your ass at the last second; that is assuming that you are willing to concede all notion of plot and theme in an effort to call whatever this is a story.

Madness is a series of OK fighting sequences, and that's it.

That's all it ever has been, and from the looks of it that's all it ever will be.

Madness is stale, it's fucking starting to mold over. How long has this been going on for now, seven years? If you're going to make a habit of submitting one big movie a year Krinkels, god at least do something better. Hell, anything would be better. It fucking pains me to sit through this entire thing, I can not bring myself to do it again.

It's boring, it's slow, and I think we've all seen the kill a guy and then use his weapon to kill another guy routine enough for one life time.

I know I'm repeating myself, but god damn it all I have 2,500 more characters to use and I'll be damned if I don't.

This series is like watching a "Meh" beat em' up, and the worst part is I'm not the one playing.

And much like the beat em' up genre, not a lot has changed from the previous Madness movies. Strip off all the gear from these frames and you've got the same god damn movie every time, albeit, with slightly different choreography.

I'm struggling to come up with any form of constructive criticism, I truly am, but the fact is I can't.

The only advice I can give you is, stop.

If all you want is the accolades and interweb fame, then I guess you would be well enough content with what you're doing now, but I for one would have fucking killed myself by now if I had to keep making this shit.

If it's working for you then what can I say? Have fun with that.

All I can hope is that this series fucking dies out and you have a chance to start from square one again.

That was a bit pessimistic I suppose.

Whatever.

LET USELESS REVIEW VOTES BEGIN

R.

[2nd Annual Tank Awards]

HAHAHAHAHAHA

I'm getting tired of these reviews complaining that certain entries didn't win when it was never the community's role to decide.

All year you people vote on flash and games, all year you hand out awards to those that you deem the "best", yet that isn't enough for you.

These awards are not for the community, there are not based upon what the community wants. Tom and the rest of the judges pander to you all year and you can't just shut you god damn mouthes for a few minutes and let them have an opnion?

I'm not saying that I agree with all the winners, and I sure as hell not saying that you have to; but for the love of god stop fucking complaining about it. You aren't going to change the winners by whining about it.

R.